it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
