There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
