What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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