It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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