idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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