I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
