It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
