he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
