if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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