it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
