I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
