I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
