I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
