Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
