My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
