do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
