my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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