...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
