so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
