I accidentally burped into my bong.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
