What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
