Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
