Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Vodka?
Forever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
