I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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