"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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