Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
