yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
