Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
