Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
