thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
