They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
