I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
