arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
