why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we made out on top of his cat.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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