I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
