well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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