She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
