Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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