the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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