we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
