I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
