A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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