before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
