I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
