i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
