i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
