If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
