I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
