you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
