Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
