What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
