so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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