Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
