Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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