Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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