Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
